Duckbutt hair
by Hybrid Fantasy
Summary: "You have duck-butt hair, Sasuke-kun." Twitch. "Is this your pathetic little attempt in order to try to get me to kiss you senselessly?" /  SasuSaku Funny One-shot. Review XD


"I've said this before, and I will say it again."

Sasuke Uchiha, _the_ amazing Sasuke Uchiha, lifted his head from the morning newspaper taking a zip from his strong espresso.

He watched his girlfriend curiously, a dazzled look on his handsome features as she shifted her weight to level him.

"Huh?" he asked truly bewildered as his onyx eyes connected with her emerald ones.

"You have duck-ass hair." Sakura stated ingenuously smiling sweetly.

Sasuke rolled his eyes.

"Not this again..."

He got up from his comfortable chair, not wanting to be part of this more than pointless conversation as he headed towards the kitchens exit. Chatting with King-Dumbass himself, Naruto, didn't seem like such a bad idea any more.

"You know, I've always wondered…" she stated unaffectedly as she followed him towards the living room.

He didn't want to stop, but he uncontrollably did as he threw his so-called girlfriend another surprised look over his shoulder.

"I still don't know whose idea it was for wearing shirts that show more than half of your chest: your selfish and narcissistic self or Orochimaru's pedophile and unwell perverted mind?"

The brunette turned slowly towards her, shock written all over his face. He raised, unthinkingly, his left eye-brow but still didn't respond.

She gave him a loving smile in return and continued as if nothing had happened.

"Are you allergic to normal clothes or something?"

He watched her taken aback.

"I mean, ever since I can remember, your style in clothes hasn't been vast at all. It's always been dark colors, as if you were a sad emo who tried, as often as possible; to find the space and time to pull out his knife and cut his veins."

She only received a long stare.

"And with time, things only got worse. Your gay-emo look has changed so many times, and I wish I could say it got better, but I'd be lying big time. Things only got catastrophic once you joined Akatsuki and you'd been forced to wear that ugly unfashionable coat!"

He _almost_ shuddered. _Almost_.

"Let's face it, Sasuke-kun, the coat looked _way_ better on your brother. At least Itachi gave the impression of being a real man in it."

Twitch.

Yeah there it was.

That insane woman made him twitch.

This was _bad__**. **_

"Everything about your tastes in fashion is asymmetrical." She stated categorically as she took a seat on the comfortable black leather sofa. "Thank God that you're boots are normal, at least."

She grinned inwardly as she prepared herself to drop the bomb by bringing out the forbidden topic. _The taboo word_.

She got up, placing a hand nonchalantly on her thin waist.

"And for crying out loud, Sasuke-kun, what's with your hair?"

To this point, Sasuke's wide-open eyes turned immediately towards hers, yet again, but this time fierceness was the right word used to describe his facial expression. Along with shock, apprehension, shock, panic and shock.

"Sakura Haruno, I swear, if you dare say another word… I…" his voice was threatening.

She was _this_ close to victory. _This _close.

_I've got him where I want him, _she thought, _he's already loosing it. _

She pressed on, knowing that this would only anger him more.

"Are your duck-ass spikes all natural? They don't seem to be, so I keep asking myself what type of hair-gel you use. Must be strong. I think it's waterproof, too."

"Sakura…" he mumbled through gritted teeth as he slowly got closer to her.

"At second though, I don't think it is. Ah, I remember! I've seem it when it's wet and it usually falls down, volume-less, right, Sasuke-kun?" she smirked devilishly congratulating herself after seeing his totally pissed off expression.

Twitch.

"Dammit, Sakura…" he breathed affectedly.

"I'm convinced your hair is the most asymmetrical thing I've ever seen on this planet."

Double twitch.

"Have you ever though about cutting it shorter?" she continued cheerfully "I'm sure it'd look better on you, and at least people wouldn't mistake your head for a duck butt, anymore."

Twitch, yet again.

"Ah, look what I've found!" she cheered as he watched her pull out a _scary_ object (which, he like to call '_the torture object'_) from a half-open drawer. "A pair of scissors!"

Twitch followed by widely open eyes and shock.

Sakura stopped dead in her tracks.

Her boyfriend was getting pissed. Like _really reallyreally _pissed.

_Maybe I took it too __far; _she though a bit alarmed knowing that his feeling usually got hurt with great ease even if he rarely showed it.

Sasuke started to make his way towards her, dominatingly. With every step he took in order to close the distance between them, she took, unthinkingly, a step backwards.

"Sakura Haruno…"

"Y-yes…?" she gulped reddening with each passing second.

He breathed into her ear, tempted by licking her, as he pinned her to the wall, his tense and strong body covering her trembling petite one.

"Is this your pathetic little attempt in order to try to get me to kiss you senselessly?"

His fingers played teasingly with her hair.

She blushed visibly.

"Is it working?" she asked as innocently and sweetly as possible.

He brought his lips towards her mouth, closing the distance between them. Just as his parted lips lingered over hers, he pulled away smirking amusingly as he headed towards the exit door leaving a puzzled and shocked Sakura to lean against the living room wall.

Regaining back her words, after a long moment of pure shock and probably what we'd like to call a brain freeze, Sakura screamed after her long-gone boyfriend with infuriating irritation and anger.

"Sasuke Uchiha! I demand you to get back here immediately and kiss me this instant!"


End file.
